Time Out

Hmmmmm

2012-02-02T22:46:00.001-05:00

So even though I wrote the post two years ago and JUST published it, blogger filed it in the correct spot. How cool is that?

Draft

2012-02-02T22:42:00.001-05:00

So that last post was written oh about two years ago but I just found this blogger app for my iPhone, so maybe I'll become more prolific in my musings:)

Splat.

2012-02-02T22:07:00.001-05:00

Trying to decide if I have enough guts to pull off some funky highlights at my advanced age....:)

Things are Growing!

2010-06-14T01:57:00.002-04:00

Things are growing in the garden! I seriously need to document the progress of the yard. It is such a shame that we are trying to sell this house. I love it here. My babies were born here, yet I need more room for boys to run and play without me having an anxiety attack. The boys can't even ride tricycles due to the slight slant towards the street. I just don't have the energy to take them somewhere else. Hopefully the house will sell after being on the market 10months. yeah. TEN months. Its a perfect timing thing, but still, two boys and the constant state of "oh my lord, please don't let anyone come to the house while I grocery shop" is getting. quite. old. Im tired and need someone to take this beautiful place full of great memories off. my. hands!

The Flu Sucks

2010-03-06T08:50:00.002-05:00

That's it. That's all I've got to say.

Digging in the Dirt

2010-03-05T17:26:00.006-05:00

I am soooo itchin' to start diggin' in the dirt. I was over at my mother in-law's house and she had all these gardening catalogs. I planned out my whole yard with perennials and know that it would be beautiful. To the right, this group of flowers is what I would plant between my Holly Tree and Rodo that is in my front yard. There is just this empty space in front of our little white picket fence. As it receives full sun, I thought these would be beautiful. Problem is that the house is still on the market and we could be gone by the time the earth thawed out... sigh. I'm finally feeling good and have the interest in my yard, and its not going to be my yard anymore. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to wait until next year.

The Big Reveal

2010-03-04T16:32:00.005-05:00

Remember watching Sixth Sense or Usual Suspects for the first time? And you got to the end and there was this mindblowing reveal? Sent shivers up your spine and you actually yelled out in the theatre? I am convinced more and more each day that given God's incredible creativity and transcendence that we will die and be faced with an ultimate, incredible reveal. Just as we watched the Sixth Sense and jumped to our own conclusions that were eventually dispelled, we will reach the place of understanding about our lives that will cause us to shout out with joy, weep with emotion over our mistakes and regrets and yet marvel at the Perfection of the Great Story of Life. We will finally take all the puzzle pieces of how we got here, how the Cosmos were created and all other great mysteries of life here on Earth and they will drop into place and shatter all preconceptions. I am sooo looking forward to that!

New Face

2010-03-04T15:18:00.003-05:00

I just had so much fun rearranging the template for this blog. A bit more colorful and it heads with one of my favorite places on Earth. The view of Lake Galilee in Northern Israel. This is the view that my Yeshua would have had while standing on a hillside.
Changed some colors around to reflect more of my taste. Maybe I'll actually write some stuff now that I'm more inspired!

Collider

2008-09-08T13:27:00.002-04:00

I found this article on the Super Collider really interesting. I've been loosely following the project as things came up in mainstream media. I find peoples reactions very wild, too. I don't understand why people get so threatened by the possibility of discovering God's technique. I haven't been in a science classroom in quite a while so I don't even know what the latest theories are on Big Bang, etc. But I honestly believe that God wouldn't give us revelation if He didn't want us to know something. The big question is how we use that knowledge. We will always have a choice to use new found knowledge for progress or destruction.

Anyhow, I'm really excited to see what happens. Hopefully nothing out of a horror movie and hopefully not as big of a bummer as Hubble first was!

Long Time

2008-09-07T22:37:00.002-04:00

I can't believe that its been so long since I last wrote! This year has flown by... One of these days Im really going to write something interesting. Like about my trip to Bangladesh or India. Or Israel for that matter. The problem is that I don't want any of my brain dumps to come back and bit me in the tush. ( That fact that I used the word "tush" tells me a lot about where my filters are. ) Im too afraid of really saying anything bc of Ads position. My mom tells me that whenever she sees me, Im always being "careful" and not being myself. I think i've sort of lost that person along the way!

Im off again!

2008-05-16T16:30:00.003-04:00

Little B is running around like crazy, Big E is cracking us up with his observations and the way he's testing his language skills! B is also starting to say "hiiiii", "no" and this past week used the sign for "more" and "thank you" which is soooo much fun to think he's really going to be communicating more!

Today is Ads birthday so while we try to pack the guys up to stay with the in-laws for two weeks, Im also trying to get myself packed and still manage to make a birthday breakfast, dinner and party atmosphere! CRRAZY timing!

Sunday Ads and I are off with 20 others from our church to Israel. Im excited because I don't have a CLUE where we are going. I just get to go along for the ride and observe and soak it in. Im not sure what my expectations are other than the above. Should I really expect to hear more from God there than I do here? I AM looking forward to getting the undivided time alone with Him. Thats been great in the past and Im thankful for the opportunity to have it again in the midst of childrearing chaos!

In other news, Im on Facebook now. What a hoot! Those crazy kids, what will they think up next? JK, I just have a hard enough time keeping this up and trying to do that profile too just adds more stress! We shall see! Im thinking more and more that I will use this as a travel blog. Not necessarily as I travel, but more of when I get back. Or maybe I'll hang this one up and start a new one. who knows. Its been 4.5 months since my last entry so we'll see when the next will be!
peace or as they say where Im headed "Shalom"

Clap! Clap! Clap!

2008-01-12T18:20:00.000-05:00

Today Little B clapped for the first time! Other milestones in the past two weeks include pulling himself up in his crib and up on other pieces of furniture as well. As long as he doesn't start walking while Im away!

Misc.

2007-10-27T00:24:00.000-04:00

I can't remember why I posted that photo of myself on the last entry. I think I was going to try and change out my profile photo and gave up after not being able to figure it out.

I've been thinking about sooo much stuff lately. Reading great books and writing fabulous blog entries... in my head. It amazes me sometimes how articulate I can be, and yet I've never been able to find the best way to get out on the keyboard. Its just stuck or worse it disappears before I get to a computer!

So I'm going to do a brain dump:

Emperor's Children - eh. Borrowed it from my mother and honestly the story didn't do anything for me. I didn't like the characters and either it didn't have a point or I didn't catch it. ( TOTALLY possible, esp with my post-par tum brain )

Eat, Pray, Love -
Ever watch the Food Network and get a serious case of lust? I do every time. " I WILL eat beautiful food " It reminds me of this hysterical NPR interview I hear where the interviewee had written a paper or book on how the Food Network was basically the same as porn. (Rachel Ray=Girl next door, Italian chick = something more exotic, Iron Chef = S&M ) Anyhow, I got a serious case of food and language lust after reading the Italy section in the book. I had a yearning to learn a foreign language and cook with fresh food. Actually I REALLY wanted to learn the monologue of the Italian football fan screaming and cursing. Maybe cussing in Italian would be more appropriate for a Pastor's wife ;)
Second section-"Pray"- I found it to be very inspiring. I realized that for all my faith, I've never read a person's spiritual memoir that wasn't a Christ follower. I'm sure that sounds stupid to people out there, but I really found it refreshing. It really challenged my faith. How can I truly be frustrated about not hearing from God or feeling like I haven't received the "more" I want if I haven't the discipline to sit down and listen? Loved the idea that prayer was is me asking and meditating is me listening.
"Love"- Being very involved with global outreach and learning about serving the indigenous church, I found her interaction with her friend very interesting. Her friend that she helps to buy a home. How often we Americans swoop in and want to fix peoples problems without every considering the implications of that good deed. Thankfully, her situation turns out alright, as far as the reader knows.
Overall great book. I really enjoyed the structure as well, perfect for my fragmented brain. 180 short snippets that I could read one at a time.

hmmmm...lets see what else? Why haven't they created medical practices that include OB/GYN's with pediatricians, Mom physicians, psychiatrists and personal trainers? Basically a one stop shop. But have it be included in the whole pregnancy package. One's weekly pregnancy visits, pediatrician visits, the 6-week check up, any other check up one might need, followed by at least one mental health evaluation, and a fitness plan monitored by mom's physician, personal trainer and dietitian. Just everybody join one practice so that I don't have to try and find a specialist. Just round everybody up and make me an appointment.

I should go, its late. Glad I got some stuff out. peace

2007-08-03T14:25:00.001-04:00

Macken Known knees

2007-08-02T23:15:00.000-04:00

Macken known knees = Macaroni
Bah-loo-loo-la = Banana
Nana= Banana
Emo=Nemo
Emo=Ernie
Ma'am Maw = Grandma
Nolk=milk
Mommy milk = breast milk
Mommy orange juice = breast milk
Mommy pizza = breast milk
E go = Diego
No Key = Monkey
Tod = Fox
neego= Flamingo
Yo Gut = yogurt
Lie Ess= Elias
Missa Taytas Eyes=Mr. Potatoe's Eyes

The Fog is Lifting......

2007-07-03T23:06:00.000-04:00

Or as Gloria Estefan put it "Coming Out of the Dark..... I can finally see the light....."

Minutes after I posted my last entry my water broke in the middle of Taco Bell. sigh... every pregnant women's nightmare. Went home, ( I drove myself, sitting on a pile of paper napkins ) and nothing happend for 6 hours. I did accomplish one goal by walking to the hospital! Anyhow, nothing happened so they induced at 8:45pm. First couple of contractions by 9:15pm, the Doula got there at 9:25pm and Brennon was born at 11:30pm! Fast and furious, no time for drugs, BAM!! There he was. Beautiful.

Thats all I can write about right now, the rest has been a haze. Ive been told to hold on for the first couple of months and so Im doing that while realizing that the pain in childbirth that Eve brought upon us, is not limited to labor and delivery, it's in the transition of post-partum and the hecticness of transitioning from one child to two. (Operating system 2.0 as my husband puts it.) Its in the blue fog of post-partum harmonal chaos. Its in the emotional separation from the first child to the fierce "mommabearness" attachment to the second. Its in the heartbreak of that separation.

It has made me ponder the role of Christ's resurrection in the life of a post-partum woman. Someone told me about a book they read called "Buddha never raised kids and Jesus didn't drive carpool" The title is so appropo.

peace for now.

Baby Tizzy

2007-03-25T12:52:00.000-04:00

For the past month, I've been trapped in a pregnancy whirlwind of trying to get my entire life in order before the upcoming birth of Son #2! Baby clothes, laundry, shopping, cleaning, sorting, birth classes, email lists, call lists, moving furniture, last minute meetings, carseats, writing out birth preferences, burning cd's, talking to doulas, getting pictures taken, batteries, setting up a hospital "carepage", cd's, film (video camera) etc, its CRAZY! All that's left is packing the bag to the hospital. But Im tempted to leave that off the list until I actually go into labor.
Thankfully Ads has been a HUGE help, especially in keeping me off the ceiling. I had several sleepless nights in a row but have now calmed down enough to the point that Im just doing the usual waking up several times a night to use the facilities.
Went to the Dr. last tuesday and have begun to dilate. That got me in the biggest tizzy as my last pregnancy only lasted 2.5days after the Doctor did this wonderful thing called "stripping membranes". Its really as bad as it sounds. However! I am past the 2.5days and am comfortable just letting things happen the way they will naturally.

Whew!

Triscuit Momma

2007-02-12T23:13:00.000-05:00

Today was a lazy day. As Im getting my two year old ready for lunch he excitedly points at the Triscuits box cover and shouts "Mommy! Mommy!" Confused I ask him what he wants. "That's Mommy!" he says. Ahhhh...... Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder! So as I sit down for lunch, still in my faded blue bathrobe with the tie just barely wrapped around my 7.5month belly, I smile knowing that I am beautiful in the eyes of my little boy. He thinks Im Rachel Ray.

Cooking While Pregnant

2007-02-09T18:27:00.000-05:00

I've been married now for almost 9.5 years and have never made a pot roast. Pot roast is one of my all time favorite dishes. I make my mom make it every time I see her. Anyhow, I've learned that I shouldn't try new things while working with a pregnancy brain. I read and reread the recipe and this morning got up and threw everything in the crockpot as soon as I got up. Very proud of the fact that despite hating cooked carrots and having never eaten a parsnip before, I still included them in my pot roast, confident that I was going to try everything on my plate tonight. Fast forward 8hours and as Im reading the directions for making the gravy ( a first as well) I am shocked to discover that I have left out the onions. sigh...... pot roast with no onions. Gravy with no onions. I thought that was really strange when I was reading the recipe, but whats obviously scary is that when I read it now, it has onions..... freaky.....

Car Laws

2007-01-15T18:48:00.000-05:00

The other day, it finally happened. I was pumping gas and the receipt didn't print out. Not only did the receipt not print out, the screen went blank so I didn't even know how much I had spent on filling up. What to do? Do I blow my budget? Move the car, get E out , run in and get E back in for a receipt? Or just run in and get the receipt without any heavy lifting? "Just this once." I thought. So I ran inside got the receipt and came out. At which time the super mom in the minivan that had just pulled up asks "Excuse me, Ma'am"
"Yes" I respond with a smile,
"You know that's illegal, right?"
Sigh.... "Yes, but you know, got to have a receipt..."
I jumped in the car and took off FUMING. Why? I'm still not sure. I'm sure I was embarrassed at being "caught" going into the store (especially since it was the FIRST time I've done that), secondly, I just wanted to ask her if she felt like she was the better mother after seeing the big, pregnant women waddle into the market to get a receipt. I was raging, which I have to think is partly hormonal as I actually handled myself pretty well, and overall the woman was asking out of kind concern. However, expecting a little sympathy from my hubby when I got home, I was greatly disappointed. "You should never do that, baby! I know you needed a receipt but you should have taken E with you..." Sigh.... I know...... Still there's something asinine about not being able to run into the gas station to get the receipt. 30seconds... I'm sure someone will respond with some sort of Drama in Real Life article they read in Reader's Digest, but at this moment, I'm more pissed off at a world in which you can't leave a locked, parked car with a strapped in kid in a five-point harness car seat (ever tried to get in and out fast? yea, impossible) to get a receipt from the gas station. argh....

Hands Off!

2006-12-04T16:00:00.000-05:00

So, my last pregnancy I only had one person chronically rub my belly without asking. This past week, she came up to me and put her arm around me and I saw her hand move in for the rub. I literally grabbed her hand almost crushing it while saying "PLEASE, don't touch my belly." I felt bad but it was like this violent Mama Bear instinct that I've never experienced before. I seriously could have taken her down! It was so fast, and angry. I want to make up a tee-shirt that says, "Please don't pet the belly." I just hope I didn't hurt her hand!

We're Back!

2006-12-04T14:52:00.000-05:00

It's been a crazy awesome month! Ads and I were able to go to England for 10 days on spiritual business and 2.5days of sightseeing. We spent an amazing 6 nights with two wonderful, godly people in their home, learning about God, leadership, etc. As well as getting to know God. True spiritual retreat. We then added on 2.5days in London at the end to do a bit of sightseeing in early celebration of our ten year anniversary. ( June 29th) We figured that with baby #2 coming at the end of March we aren't going to be going anywhere for a while!

So I have lots to share and will get around to it eventually! We got home the day before Thanksgiving so its been crazy busy! Plus we found out the sex of the new baby! Im too fragmented right now to try and put it all down! Will write more later!

My vote COUNTS!

2006-11-08T14:13:00.000-05:00

WOOHOO! It actually works! Every candidate I voted for got elected! AND to top it off Rumsfeld stepped down! What a day! Granted we shall have to wait and see if this all plays out well, but I actually left the voting booth excited at the possibilities and it worked! I helped elect people to public office! Now that they won I'm feeling a certain responsibility to hold them accountable to the job. I've never really particiapated and it worked! I actually researched candidates and didn't just vote a party line. I looked at it as if I were an HR person and had certain requirements for the job and tried to find the best person for it.

What a privilege!
AND Rumsfeld stepped down!!! Its like a signing bonus!

Ladies Only

2006-10-29T15:11:00.000-05:00

I was just reading another NY Times article , "What Do Women Want? Just Ask..." about the buying power of women and they mentioned the following websites as resources. BeJane.com for home improvement advice and AskPatty.com for automotive advice. Seeing how some of my favorite gifts are large power tools I am excited to explore these sites. I know so many women that love to do significant work on their homes and though the sites are pretty, Im hoping they will be useful. ( I like "pretty", I just mean, hopefully they will be substantial in content) So anyhow, maybe I'll be able to figure out how to tear up the tile on the new bathroom floor and replace it before baby D2 comes in March :)

With regards to the car thing, my Dad always did lots of car work and I feel uneducated in that area. I feel like I need to be a better consumer in that regard. Since the family is growing too, I would like to be able to make a responsible choice when it comes to a new vehicle as well. Hopefully we won't have to do that too soon (knock, knock) but when the time comes, I want to be informed, not just in a panic mode because the car has just died or something. Something that will allow for a rear and front facing car seat ( which by the way a VW Jetta does NOT accommodate very well without cutting off the legs of any front seat driver/passengers) , in addition to having a passenger in the middle seat as well as being environmentally efficient. And ultimately, something that won't make me look like a soccer mom..... I don't know if that's possible. But surely if we can make computers designer friendly we can get some cars goin' on with some sass and funk....

The Coast of Utopia

2006-10-14T22:57:00.000-04:00

Woohoo! My brother's picture is in the NY Times! Check out this article from this weekend's NY Times. My brother is third from the left in the very back row. He is one of the understudies in the play and I am so very proud of him! I can't imagine what it would be like to work with the likes of Stoppard, Amy Irving, etc! What a privilege to learn from them. I wish the production much success. What an accomplishment!

Termites

2006-10-14T10:56:00.000-04:00

My son is a termite. For some reason he loves any type of paper product, wood, cotton balls, etc. Check out the photos! Crazy kid! I couldn't figure out how he had time enough to gnaw on a roll of toilet paper without me knowing! I've never actually caught him in the act of gnawing but he's done a lot of damage. There goes the heirloom crib! LOL!

S.O.S.! I need new music!

2006-09-30T23:19:00.000-04:00

I was just reading through my own profile and realized that half of the music that I have listed is primarily music my husband introduced me to... about 10 years ago. Help! I remember going through my parents record collection thinking "Wow they really used to listen to some awesome artists" But it was only up until about 1979. I asked my Dad what happened, why did they stop listening to cool music? His response was "You happened! Whose got time for listening to music when you've got two little kids?" or at least it was something like that. So guess what has happened? We've stopped listening to music. At least new music. All the radio stations up here suck and Lighting 100 doesn't do live streaming audio anymore... sigh. So, Im TOTALLY out of the loop, no cable TV, no great stations. Im not about to spend hours searching iTunes aimlessly for new music as I don't have the time, so for all three people that read this, tell me what to check out. Is there anything inspiring out there? You know, something that you heard for the first time and LOVED?

Gun Shy

2006-09-28T18:47:00.000-04:00

So a weird thing happened last night. Ads left at 11:45pm last night for his prayer slot and at 11:53pm I woke to the sound of gunfire right outside my bedroom window. I sat up and looked to my right and saw a white suv'ish type truck speeding away. My immediate thought was that Ads was dead in a drive-by. However he had already left. So then I was up until he got home. I was so scared at first but then pretty pissed off. When I was sure no one was shot on the street, I thought "what jerk is stupid enough to fire a round out the window of their car just for fun." Then I was wondering if Im supposed to do anything about it. Are you supposed to call the police for something like that? Crazy world.

Ginger Tea

2006-09-13T16:42:00.000-04:00

I've been drinking Ginger tea in hopes that it will quell my nausea. Ads and I have are expecting number two! Yea! We are very excited, though while at the hospital visiting friend number four and her newborn baby, I panicked. As I am holding her tiny newborn (5lb 9oz) Big E starts playing and throwing something. I realized that as I tried to hold this one baby in one arm and control The Big E with the other, that we might have gotten ourselves in over our heads! So March 31rst is the target date. My clothes are already too small and my brain has already gone to pieces. sigh... might be a while before I have any deep thoughts...

ER

2006-09-13T16:21:00.000-04:00

So about a week ago, we made our first trip to the E. R. The Big E thumped, hit the ground and started crying. I saw him get up off the ground by our attic door and scooped him up for hugs and kisses. He cried for about 20 seconds, hopped off my lap got a book and brought it to me to read. After reading the book I stood up and took his hand to walk with him to his room. To my dismay (and guilt) he had smeared blood on his hand. I had looked at his mouth expecting a bloody lip and saw no blood. Where was it coming from? His ear. When he went down he must have banged his head up against our new door trim and it split his ear. Off to the emergency room. (At this point the panic has transfered to me and he is now running around quite happily playing) Long story short, E had six stitches in his left ear. A sad and traumatic event . (Did you know they have full body "papooses" for toddlers?) All has recovered well and I have to say that Im glad this was as bad as it got for a visit to the E.R. Of course guilt consumed me everytime EVERY medical person asked "what happened". I just wanted to say "He's a boy, 20months and no longer remembers how to walk, he only runs, and when he falls he refuses to let go of whatever it was he is holding onto."

Oliver

2006-07-10T22:55:00.000-04:00

My honey and I have this friend Oliver from school that is biking across the U.S. this summer. I have really enjoyed his blog as I can't get away this summer for a vacation. Kinda a vicarious cross-country roadtrip. I believe he started out in Astoria, Oregon and makes his way to Virginia. He's always been a free spirit and at one point had hiked the entire Appalachian Trail.
I always admire those that actually take the time to adventure like that. Hopefully I'll get the guts to do something I've always wanted to do.... Thats the part Im having trouble with... What IS it that I've always wanted to do??

"An Inconvenient Truth"

2006-07-06T21:31:00.000-04:00

No joke, yesterday I filled up my car to the price tag of $40.00. 12.97 gallons..... Crikey! I can hardly believe it! When I was in high school I could give my girlfriend $10.00 for driving me home from track practice and it would fill the car up! That was only 10 years ago!

That being said, my honey and I got an email from a mutual friend that is a pastor in Chicago. The friend had just seen the Al Gore documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" and was urging everyone to go see it. Now, I will say that even as a Tennessee resident I totally did not vote for Gore in 2000 as I did not then nor do I now think that he was the right choice... It's seriously a whole other post... I voted for Nader....

ANYHOW! I enjoyed the documentary, though dragging a little at times and I was sure I was going to see an Apple advert at the end due to the numerous "Al Gore with his Apple computer" shots, it was worth the 2hrs or whatever. (The music is a bit overly dramatic when it doesn't need to be, the subject speaks for itself) Having grown up in a school system that taught about Earth Day, recycling etc, I found that there wasn't necessarily any thing "new" about the message. What was frustrating was how evident it was that we haven't GOTTEN it yet. There was one part in particular that totally made me mad and that was something about how because of our emissions standards or MPG standards are so low that we can't even sell cars in other parts of the world because their standards are higher. There were definitely some graphs to see that really helped spell out the issue for me as a visual person. I will have a hard time forgetting what those graphs looked like. They totally looked like the folks in Washington have never gone to school. Or at least the type I grew up in.

But the big question comes to this... "Now what?" As a household manager, what steps will I take to actually try and reduce my households carbon 'whatever'? I learned about recycling and such as a kid in elementary school but now its time to actually put what I learned into practice as an ADULT. Part of the problem right there, as a consumer nation no one wants to take responsibility for anything.

So any ideas? Any tips on Green Homemaking? We already recycle cans, plastic, paper etc. Any thoughts on Gas furnace vs. Oil? Both are natural resources... Pretty much the same price at the moment and both have shot up over the years. Any thoughts?

P.S. The message I grew up with in school was to take care of the environment because its the responsible thing to do. Especially in light of the effects that it DOES have. Case in point : Aquanet hairspray. Big hair, no-no. You can barely find the stuff nowadays. Secondly, this idea of environmental stewardship is only reinforced morally through the reading of Biblical Scriptures. We were created in part to take care of the Earth God created, yes the depravity of man shows itself in social injustices, but man's sin spills itself over into over consumption as well. An environmental obesity if you will...

Karen E. Negri Santoro

2006-07-05T11:08:00.001-04:00

Karen,

I just realized that when you and Bob hired me as a part-time employee, that you were only two years older than I am right now! When I look back I am amazed at how much LIFE you have lived over the years...

Adam and I loved you guys very much, we were always trying to figure out how to get in contact with you over the years. Im not sure if you ever got it, but I sent a note to you guys when I got my first real job in the design world after college. I realize now that it must have been when you might have been pretty busy with expecting Dawson.

You were the first woman in my life, outside of family and church, that poured into me and encouraged me to take the path that greatly shaped me into the woman I am today. You took a high school kid who was fooling around with drafting and encouraged her to go further with it. I had only thought about Interior Design, but by allowing me to work with the two of you, I had an inside peak at the industry. I saw what a partnership looked like professionally and with regards to marriage. You always made me feel like I was an important part of the firm, I never just felt like an employee, whether drafting, thinning out Bob's magazines or painting the fence, I felt like I was part of the family, not just part of the business.

You guys were always living life to its fullest. I remember you guys off in the Cayman Islands, Honduras and a few other places, and that's only in the year and a half I worked for you!

You told me funny stories about your college years, something about 'borrowing' bulletin boards... I can't remember now exactly. You actually gave me a list of things NOT to do in school!

You took me seriously, when Ads and I broke up, you didn't treat it like a high school romance gone bad, you actually listened to me and gave me really good advice. You didn't just brush it off. You were very caring...

A month before Ads and I got married we tracked you down in Atlanta, Ga. We didn't have your phone number and from a pay phone , Adam called information and got the listing for every Robert Santoro in the book. Eventually we found what we hoped was you guys. We busted out the map and drove around until we found one of the houses. You and Bob were outside stripping paint off of the doors of the house. You looked up from your work and just stared at us until we got really close. Turns out you didnt have your glasses on and couldn't figure out who Bob was making such a fuss over. The funny thing was you guys didn't even live at this house, you were working on it to sell. We could have totally missed you guys that day! It was great catching up! I remember you saying that you wouldn't be able to come to our wedding because you were going to be just getting back from the Dominican Republic in celebration of you fifth(?) anniversary. That means you just celebrated your fourteenth a week ago....

Anyhow, you guys kept moving on, next was California. That awesome card you sent with the picture of you two in your new house. I remember it said that from the roof you could see the ocean looking forward and looking at the backyard, the mountains. It even had an orange tree in the yard! So many new beginnings.

A year ago I tried sending you a birth announcement for my son. It came back and I wondered if you guys had moved onto somewhere else. We always thought about you and Bob, wondering if you guys had started a family or not. I think I found online when I was trying to track you guys down that you were pregnant (with Dawson?) . It was when Bob was resigning from the Para-gliding club. I always thought it was funny that I could find that out from the meeting minutes but I couldn't find your address! You guys must have been so excited, and evidently, everyone else was excited for you also!

I had always hoped that we could surprise you guys again, by flying out to CA and just showing up again on your doorstep.... Im so sorry that I wont be able to see you again... My heart just hurts so much at that thought...

We are praying for Bob and Dawson with a desperation that you can only imagine. Im sure you know how many people loved you and will do anything for your family.

Thank you so much for so many funny, wonderful memories and for being such a beautiful person. Thank you for following your dreams and for showing me how to live life to its fullest. I could go on with so many stories...

May you find everlasting joy with your little one, Ian, in the arms of our Lord and Savior.

Peace to you...

Gardening Pitfalls

2006-06-26T19:28:00.000-04:00

Aaaccck!! I have the MOST wicked case of Poison Ivy that I have ever suffered. All over my arms, ankles and back of my knees. I just want to peel my skin off. I do so well not to scratch and then my hand brushes the area, which leads to a tiny scratch and before I know it, I can't control myself. It just feels too good to not scratch.

In the mean time, Im trying to teach Big E not to throw his toys. Im trying to start early with learning how to take care of our things. The problem lays in the fact that whenever I have him sit in his chair as a 5min time out, he laughs at me and shakes his head saying "no, no! No, no!" That seriously makes me want to throw my hands in the air and say "forget it!" Maybe I need to try something else. But what if I do that right as he begins to get the point? sigh....

Comments

2006-06-26T12:19:00.000-04:00

Evidently I had something turned off or switched off that wouldn't let people make comments. I believe I have remedied the situation! Comment away....

The First American

2006-06-25T17:26:00.000-04:00

I have just finished The First American- The Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin by H.W.Brands. I have been reading it now bit by bit over the past nine months or so. I have loved learning about this man. From his family history to his scientific/philosophical/political interests. Now that I have reached the end I am moved to tears by how hopeful and tireless B.F. was in creating what he felt was a better world for us it inhabitants. Do such people like him exist today? Self-taught, genius men and women who are by no means perfect, but still inspirational to their fellow human beings? Those that serve tirelessly for the greater good of humankind?

Am I idealizing this man Franklin? Yes, I just finished the book and am coming off its killer last line. With all the apathy in the world today, its good to read about a group of people that wanted to change the world for the better.

If anyone has any other inspirational reads, let me know. I would love to have any suggestions.

First Fruits

2006-06-21T16:47:00.000-04:00

My Roses are blooming! I actually learned how to prune the rose bushes that I inherited when purchasing our first home, and I have already twice as many blooms as last year. This gardening thing is amazing! Outside of pruning a couple of things and sticking some rose food under a couple of plants I've mostly been crossing my fingers and knocking on wood. I usually kill any type of houseplant, but maybe staying outside is best as nature has a way of taking care of itself. I look forward to seeing if any other roses blooms happen the way my uncle said they would if I cut them in a certain spot. I know, not overly interesting,but they are gorgeous. I had my second bud open the day that my girlfriend had her baby, it opened very quickly so I cut it and brought it to her in the hospital. A doctor on the elevator asked if it was from my garden and commented on how good it smelled. I thought maybe he was trying to hit on me, but then I realized that some people are really into this gardening thing. Here's to the next batch!

Notification of Next of Kin

2006-06-21T16:31:00.000-04:00

The recent tragedy in Iraq in which two soldiers were kidnapped by insurgents ended horrifically. What caught my attention though was that reporters violated a common rite of allowing the notification of the next of kin by reporting that the bodies of said soldiers had been found before military personnel were able to deliver the news to family. I cannot even imagine the families horror to discover that all hope was lost before any military personnel even got to the door. As it was an Iraqi official that reported the discovery to the media, Shouldn't the media wait and verify that next of kin have been notified? Would it be appropriate to fine the media for jumping the gun? Yes, journalists have the right to the info, especially in the US with regards to the freedom of press, but isn't there some sort of human code of conduct that was breached in this instance?

Hope for Rwanda

2006-06-19T18:57:00.000-04:00

It's a very long story, but our church is partnered with six other across the USA to make a difference in the Great Lakes Region of Africa. This includes Rwanda, Burundi, D.R.of Congo amoung others. In my links sections you will see a link to World Relief and will be specifically directed to their work in Rwanda. A team from our church took a trip last September and artist Alain Picard did a series of which he has turned into prints. All proceeds go to help the work of World Relief in the Great Lakes Region. www.picardstudio.com/collections.html and http://rwanda.wr.org/
Definitely check out Alain's site, the pieces are truly beautiful.

In response to Kohana's blog

2006-06-19T14:49:00.000-04:00

My Dear Kohana,

Big guy D just fell asleep in his lunch, time for a lazy summer day nap. I have on my to-do list " Call K back" So while Im distracted from the exciting life I lead pushing the boundaries in laundry technique I find your blog and there is a post written to ME! I miss you so much! How is it that our girlfriends are off getting PhD's, traveling in Holland and adventuring in China while we throw up and try to stay cool in the hot summer sun? We all have our different paths, I guess... but wouldn't it sound better if I were doing laundry in Istanbul right now? Or the Greek Isles. My brother in-law just got back from his honeymoon in Cinga Terra, Italy. The laundry HAS to be better there, Im SURE of it!

Anyhow,onto the task at hand. You are a woman of impeccable taste and style. Your home is like a wardrobe. Each space its own outfit. Therefore, your family room sounds stunning! Sleek, elegant, yet functional and comfortable. You and I love new things and creating a palette that allows for a splash of something different from time to time is great. As we do up here near NYC. Wear lots of black and let the bling shine (I dont have any bling but you know what I mean, accessories) With your honey wood tones, variations of warm-greys (vs. blue/cool greys) will make a great monochromatic palette. That will set off any artwork/photos, kid's toys, "cushions" (as you european types say) and accessories that you want to show off. ( The kid's toy thing is inevitable ) Use textiles to create any additional pattern and color. That could be a simple 54"sq throw out of a fanstatic sari or fabric that you find. Maybe a small round side table with a fabric skirt. A throw rug also can bring in some additional pattern and color. I just got a cool catalog in the mail called Flor. Its modular carpet squares that you mix and match to create an area rug. Florcatalog.com. I believe the mother company is Interface which was a company that I LOVED when working at Anderson. The tiles are 20"x 20" aprox. and most are blocks of color with variations in texture. Home Decorators Collection also has rugs. www.homedecorators.com ( They really have some scary stuff, but there is a diverse selection when it comes to rugs)

Anyhow, my only thought is that with grey walls, a variation of grey window panels, and black and white photos, my instinct is to get some stunning color on the wall somehow. i.e. something at eyelevel. Floorlamp? a tall plant? Color photos, Viv's artwork? Your artwork? Reframe b/w photos in different colors? Im just brainstorming here. Whether through photographs or even an accent color wall. At my brothers place in NYC, the couple that lives downstairs from him, painted their walls two subtle shades of grey. Think about that possibility to. Though the room is small, it might be interesting to have opposite walls ( the short walls & the long walls ) painted differently. Do you have a mirror over the couch? ( the wall adjacent to the kitchen) That would also capture natural sunlight from the front of the house and create a window effect. It would visually push the wall back, making the room feel slightly larger than it is.

My strongest suggestion, as always, is to trust your instinct. If it doesnt make you smile, don't do it.

The baby boom has started to explode here. #2 of Nine expected was born last week. Im busy planning showers and trying to figure out how I can get anyone a gift without breaking the bank!
Hubby is assuming that I am already pregnant though we haven't yet tried. Maybe he thinks its a virus you can catch or some sort of osmosis type thing. Its understandable with all the women around here. Seriously, you can't turn around at a party without bumping into someones belly! LOL!

Let me know about Eden and especially about your Sprout! I can't wait to hear the news!

I miss you! Have a cup of tea for me!

Peace!
caro.d

Green Things

2006-05-07T21:41:00.000-04:00

Well, I did it! I worked two days straight in the yard and now Im just a little closer to being a responsible homeowner! My girlfriend Adina came at the beginning of April and while she was here she helped me beyond words in getting the FALL clean up done! So with that under the belt my husband and I have been so inspired to keep on keeping on with the yard work. Plants are blooming and green things are getting bigger. Yesterday and today especially we were able to take down two trees and a mysterious "bush" that was threatening to take over our side yard. Unfortunately whats left is a side yard of dirt. Getting grass to grow might be next springs project, who knows! But I have "fed" my rodos, my azaleas (Im new at plants so please forgive me for spelling mistakes ) , and roses, the lawn is mowed and edged. Next is planting and mulching. We shall see. Im so excited to actually have dirt under my nails, its been quite a while and I feel like Im coming out of a dark winter in so many ways.

Been a while...

2006-05-03T21:59:00.000-04:00

Yikes! Its been a while since I was here last. Since my last post, I have turned 30, helped put together a global weekend for church ( we had this gentleman from Egypt come, he was terrific) , went off to visit family in California, had a girlfriend visit me for a while and then my husband, son and I went to Florida for 10 days. whew! Life is full, life is good.

I have poured a lot of myself out in the last few months and definitely got recharged over the past week. Just sat on the beach for 10days straight. Didnt go anywhere but from the sand to bed and from the bed to sand. Gorgeous location. Nice tan, got my haircut for the first time in 2years and coloured for the first time ever.

Lots of things have been on my mind lately...like social responsibility, how my last shopping trip to Target helped support sweatshops in Jordan, I dont eat well, ( I had two people on Sunday ask if I was pregnant again... uh oh! ) how I would love to be a real writer, if only I knew how... the list could go on. It sounds like a lot of negative things looking back at it but really I feel good! Im happy, I am at peace, I think I finally have the clarity to actually consider some of the above topics. Nothing all at once, just a little bit at a time.

Bleeding Hearts

2006-02-25T10:14:00.000-05:00

I've just been surfing around and found some links to some old friends of mine...Looking back has made my heart hurt and now I am faced with the realization that I don't really know any of these people anymore. Who have they become? Its been a good 14 years or so... You try to imagine what it would be like if you had taken a different road and all it does is make you weepy and wish you could write poetry... I realize that its not a possibility and thankfully the thought that "im a totally different person now and so are they" comes to mind and I realize that we might not ever have become friends if in different cirumstances. That brings relief. I wish them all well. May God bless them in their lives and with their loved ones and God save me from my arrogance.

FlyLady.com

2006-02-20T19:48:00.000-05:00

I was briefly mentioning to a friend that I was trying to get a handle on meal planning as I am trying to stay within a certain budget for food each month. She said "Oh check out FlyLady.com". So I did. Pretty interesting!
After working for eight years, it's really be wierd to be home all day even though I've now got a 13month old running (literally) around. I still haven't gotten a hold on a schedule for myself though I've got the critter on one. I keep thinking that it should be pretty easy as I used to manage projects that were of a fairly large scope. I couldn't figure out how often I should do stuff or sometimes even how. I would call my mom and ask her how often she would do something or talk to my mother in-law. But their advice, though helpful was still not as directive as I would like. This FlyLady thing actually emails me with a list of things to do each day! LOL! So far, so good and I figure that once I get through the cycle, I can fly solo. Its a silly issue to have, but no one actually teaches you how to LIVE your life. You go to school for years to be able to get a job but then you come home and there's all this stuff to do! How often are you supposed to clean the bathroom or change the sheets, etc. You do it, but am I doing it as often as you should? Is there a rule about this? So, I figure I'll try out the FlyLady thing and see how it goes. It seems like it would actually be good for any Beta that is living on their own for the first time as well as the "typical" SAHM/WAHM.

Cruci'fixin's

2006-02-03T13:18:00.000-05:00

I just read an article on CNN.com regarding "uproar" over the supposed upcoming Will and Grace episode that Britney Spears is to guest star. Previous news statements have said that she would portray a conservative Christian and would co-host Jack's talk show due to his network being bought out by a Christian network. She was also supposedly going to be a host of a food show called "Cruci'fixin's". NBC now states that in fact the episode hasn't been written and that "erroneous" info was included in the press releases.

What I have to chuckle about is that WE as Christians have TOTALLY asked for this. Having lived in Nashville, TN in the heart of the Christian "ghetto" mentality, I think we deserve to be portrayed that way. Come on, when was that last time you walked into a Lifeway or some such "christian bookstore" and didn't see some goofy product that we are such suckers to buy. I.e. "Testa-Mints". Its enough to make you spew. The fact that society at large has picked up on the fact that we create dumb products like that shouldn't be surprising.

If you want to change how society portrays the faith, than stop consuming products that SAY you are follower of Christ and start SHOWING you are a follower of Christ by actually doing what HE said to do. Not what some "christian" organization says for you to do or think. Make it real.

Peace

Death on Message Boards

2006-01-24T11:34:00.000-05:00

So there is this message board that I always check out. I love it because its a group of people that are very dear to my heart and who inspire me. The few times that I have tried to engage (not just be a consumer) have not met my expectations. Sometimes it feels like visiting a ghost town due to the lack of activity. I just checked it out again, and my name is everywhere because no one has posted anything new after me. I must be death to message boards! I have posted before in response to something and the conversation stopped, that or went around me totally. Then I thought, "well maybe I just need to post something that is interesting to me and see what happens" Ive never gotten a response! LOL! Ive promised myself not to post again until someone else does! I didn't think I had THAT much more time on my hands, but maybe its time for new interests!

I think the lurking danger of blogs vs. a board like the one above is that we can end up isolating ourselves as individuals from the people with whom we actually want to engage with. If someone other than myself is reading this, at this point I really don't know who you are! Its easier to have a conversation with ones self than with having to try and articulate ones thoughts and feelings so that others can share in that. We have become a society of typing peepers! I watch tv or read online about other peoples lives and then write about my own, but when do I open that up to actually engage with another person? Its a creepy thing really. One doesn't have to leave ones home if they didn't HAVE to. PeaPod will deliver your groceries, you can download music,movies,tv shows, Amazon can get you anything you need, then there's EHarmony and whatever chat rooms to find you a spouse. But ones house gets stale, you need to get outside and play! Stop playing those video games! Take a walk! Go rub your face in the snow! Learn to read body language. My hope is that that is the reason the board is inactive. Everyone is actually seeing one another and having these conversations in a bar somewhere or sitting around drinking coffee. (im out of state which is why I wouldn't know this) That gives me hope, maybe its not that everyone is blogging by themselves, but that we are talking, hugging and arguing about all these things in person. Not behind our mirrors, to ourselves.

I should go, I need to go shovel the driveway....

Second Try

2006-01-17T15:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've been filling out my profile and checking out others. It scared the crap out of me. First because of some of the similarities in choices and then at the thought of being lumped in with all these other people. Is that inevitable? I must be unique in some way other then the slight difference in genetics.

My First

2006-01-17T14:21:00.000-05:00

So, i wanted to check out this "blogger" thing and got roped into creating one. As I look around at others, I've become more and more depressed. Im not eloquent, or articulate and feel like no one could possibly be interested. Luckily when I thought of doing this, I wasn't thinking of you. Im more like needing my own "trash" basket for my own desktop. Unload, unwrap and put down. Maybe this is what it means to lay it all down. I've always had trouble with that. I figured that if I lay it down, I'll forget the things that made me react or feel. so wish me luck. Perhaps some order will come out of it after all...